This format presents the proposal as a clear, actionable plan for the relationship. This doesn’t need to stay the same and should be used to make updates and changes throughout the relationship so we can have something to reference that represents our interests and being together. This format provides a clear outline of each consideration with objectives and actionable steps. We will have to fill it in with the specific actions we find relevant and valuable. I have started using the number of the section and my initial like in section nine I put 9s to indicate where I started typing my ideas and contribution to this collaborative process. Change and add whatever you like so we can both contribute something individually.

Relationship Proposal

1. Lifetime Commitment:

– Objective: Establish a foundation of trust, dedication, and mutual respect, reaffirming our commitment daily through actions and decisions that prioritize the well-being of our relationship.

– Actions: Regular check-ins to assess the health of our relationship, setting annual goals together, and participating in activities or projects that strengthen our bond.

1s – it is important to have daily affection that comes in the form of holding, sex, time in proximity even if we aren’t engaged in mutual conversation or focus eg. you watching tv while I am on the computer.
I don’t think we need to share everything but as long as you don’t modify my devices, delete data or otherwise make changes without my knowledge and consent that I want you to have access to my devices like mobile phones and computers. I expect to always treat you as though
i have nothing to hide as i haven’t ever and don’t want to keep you from myself or my things. I don’t think we lack things in common and i don’t feel bored just being with you although i would like to intentionally try different things that can be an outlet to change environment and activity.
I regret that you haven’t felt how much i care about you enough to realize how important our relationship has always been to me. I realize in my frustrations that it is difficult for me to always be showing my affection appropriately and want to be more consistent so you won’t doubt how important you are and that I am committed to our relationship and future together.

2. Conflict Resolution:

– Objective: Develop a constructive approach to resolving disagreements, focusing on empathy, effective communication, and mutual understanding.

– Actions: Implement a ‘cool-off’ period for heated arguments, use ‘I’ statements to express feelings, and schedule follow-up discussions to ensure resolution and understanding.

2s – it seems important to have an identifiable point to pause a conversation that stops being productive and becomes tumultuous – like a safe word or a feeling that comes up and a safe place in the conversation to ‘put a pin in it’ and set a deliberate time to revisit

3. Healthy Lifestyle Commitments:

– Objective: Support each other in maintaining a healthy lifestyle that includes physical, mental, and nutritional well-being, minimizing pharmaceutical interventions when possible.

– Actions: Plan regular physical activities together, create meal plans that reflect our health goals, and educate ourselves on natural health practices.

3s – i want you to share my interest  (and i think you do) in more natural, less processed products and foods. I don’t like to have anything around the house that we don’t want to use or promote the use of regularly. Things i don’t want around the home like pharmaceuticals, processed foods, and other things that we don’t want to become common in our lives. The things we attempt to avoid in our daily lives should be purchased outside and kept outside the home.

4. Family Planning

– Objective: Agree on the desire to have two male children, discussing and aligning parenting approaches, health during pregnancy, and family dynamics.

– Actions: Research and agree on methods for a healthy pregnancy, discuss family values and how to instill them in our children, and plan for the educational and extracurricular activities of our future family.

4s – there are some well-known guidelines that i will add to my ideal lifestyle while pregnant and i will adhere to the same habits as you while pregnant.

5. Communication Process

– Objective: Ensure open, honest, and respectful communication, especially during challenging conversations.

– Actions: Establish rules for discussions, such as no interruptions, focusing on the issue at hand, and employing active listening. Create a safe word or signal to pause discussions that become too intense.

5a – 

6. Travel and Leisure

– Objective: Prioritize shared experiences through travel and leisure, distinguishing between significant trips and short getaways.

– Actions: Plan at least two major trips per year and incorporate regular weekend getaways or day trips to maintain a sense of adventure and relaxation in our lives.

6s – traveling a couple of times a year seems like a good minimum for long trips that take many hours to travel to and a week or two at the destination. Expect a minimum of two trips that require more than a few hours to arrive to the destination. Less important are short getaways that take a few hours to a couple of days like day trips and staycations as needed and requested.

7. Independence and Space:

– Objective: Respect each other’s need for individual space and personal growth, ensuring it contributes positively to the relationship.

– Actions: Communicate openly about the need for personal time, agree on activities or hobbies pursued independently, and ensure regular check-ins during longer periods of separation.

7s – this could be more evolving than the other parts where we pick a time to update our outlets for new ways to explore separate interests so if there are any problems one way or the other we can talk about them. We can have personal alone time anytime in the home but when it comes to extended time away from the home to take part in other interests it should be as long of a conversation as is needed to come to a list and revise the list.

8. Additional Considerations:

– Objective: Address any other areas crucial to the relationship’s success, including financial management, household responsibilities, and social interactions.

– Actions: Create a financial plan that aligns with our goals, discuss and divide household tasks fairly, and establish boundaries for social interactions that respect our relationship.

8s – other considerations can be on the list of things to revisit on a regular schedule similar to the ‘Additional Considerations’

9. Review and Adaption:

– Objective: Acknowledge that change is a part of life and that our agreement may need adjustments as we grow together.

– Actions: Schedule annual reviews of this agreement to discuss changes in our relationship, individual needs, or life circumstances, ensuring our commitment remains relevant and supportive.

9s – another category to put in the regular revisited topics